my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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