Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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