I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
