I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
