Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Vodka?
Forever.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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