im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
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I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
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I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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