God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
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