my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
