All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
