Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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