Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
someone owes me an orgasm
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
