It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
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Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
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You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize