yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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