She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
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Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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