I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
