he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
