i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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