Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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