I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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