I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
When are your genitals available?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
