i don't plan on having that self control this summer
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
