New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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