3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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