Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
