Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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