Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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