Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
