I think I am morally bankrupt
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
