She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
