I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
