Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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