but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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