Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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