Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize