I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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