O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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