im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
