oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
