Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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