oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
