After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
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I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
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When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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