i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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