the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize