I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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