Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
