I hate your face
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
