drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
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