Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
So. Much. Porn.
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