Tell her she can't have a vagina
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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