You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...