we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
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But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
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Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.