Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.

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  (513): Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule. http://tfl.nu/z55h
  Replies (25) Good night (3908) Bad night (1029)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.

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  (807): I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina. http://tfl.nu/rpnu
  Replies (46) Good night (7424) Bad night (1108)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery

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  (509): after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery http://tfl.nu/ntn4
  Replies (9) Good night (3279) Bad night (1821)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?

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  (250): Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night? http://tfl.nu/nxqa
  Replies (7) Good night (3483) Bad night (923)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours

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  (480): I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours http://tfl.nu/lbg0
  Replies (17) Good night (1079) Bad night (2822)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.

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  (602): I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex. http://tfl.nu/gy7w
  Replies (13) Good night (3602) Bad night (1199)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.

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  (910): Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job. http://tfl.nu/jru8
  Replies (6) Good night (3265) Bad night (818)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.

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  (847): 2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take. http://tfl.nu/jq3u
  Replies (20) Good night (2775) Bad night (1475)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina

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  (402): Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina http://tfl.nu/fhci
  Replies (11) Good night (2883) Bad night (663)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha

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  (724): You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha http://tfl.nu/w49q
  Replies (2) Good night (872) Bad night (1060)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.

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  (313): I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer. http://tfl.nu/dqld
  Replies (19) Good night (1491) Bad night (765)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  I fcuked ip.

  (214): View more from Texas

  Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?

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  (325): I fcuked ip. (214): Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge? http://tfl.nu/167p
  Replies (2) Good night (1531) Bad night (645)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST

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  (757): HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST http://tfl.nu/fouh
  Replies (4) Good night (605) Bad night (1178)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...

  (480): View more from Arizona

  gifts from me to you. you're welcome.

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  (509): btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body... (480): gifts from me to you. you're welcome. http://tfl.nu/tkbz
  Replies (2) Good night (1054) Bad night (380)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.

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  (701): I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now. http://tfl.nu/69o3
  Replies (1) Good night (583) Bad night (307)

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