Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
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Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
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he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
When are your genitals available?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.