Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities

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(917): i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities http://tfl.nu/habk

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(847): View more from Illinois

If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen

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(847): If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen http://tfl.nu/f9bs

Replies (4) Good night (3746) Bad night (1410)
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(206): View more from Washington

That's why there are breakfast margaritas.

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(206): That's why there are breakfast margaritas. http://tfl.nu/dzi9

Replies (3) Good night (3240) Bad night (866)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.

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(215): I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns. http://tfl.nu/6hbs

Replies (9) Good night (4208) Bad night (914)
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(970): View more from Colorado

We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.

(303): View more from Colorado

Dude, its January.

(970): View more from Colorado

We're going to do the voices too.

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(970): We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots. (303): Dude, its January. (970): We're going to do the voices too. http://tfl.nu/k3gb

Replies (13) Good night (5391) Bad night (867)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.

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(318): Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION. http://tfl.nu/w8c8

Replies (17) Good night (2858) Bad night (868)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.

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(832): Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage. http://tfl.nu/2oqv

Replies (1) Good night (2187) Bad night (781)
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(509): View more from Washington

Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.

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(509): Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival. http://tfl.nu/kooj

Replies (9) Good night (1647) Bad night (588)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot

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(508): I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot http://tfl.nu/m2xq

Replies (5) Good night (2107) Bad night (613)
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(954): View more from Florida

My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??

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(954): My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted?? http://tfl.nu/5rk7

Replies (7) Good night (1875) Bad night (469)
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(517): View more from Michigan

It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.

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(517): It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals. http://tfl.nu/8hcd

Replies (0) Good night (658) Bad night (295)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later

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(215): shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later http://tfl.nu/zlh0

Replies (5) Good night (871) Bad night (242)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love

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(732): For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love http://tfl.nu/5u72

Replies (1) Good night (953) Bad night (298)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

It's 4 in the afternoon........

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(860): Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong (1-860): It's 4 in the afternoon........ http://tfl.nu/ra1k

Replies (2) Good night (745) Bad night (262)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here

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(860): Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here http://tfl.nu/roow

Replies (6) Good night (869) Bad night (191)

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