So how was he last night?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
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i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
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what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.