Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  how can u be prego again

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  (330): how can u be prego again http://tfl.nu/bj1u
  Replies (2) Good night (679) Bad night (1659)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".

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  (678): He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird". http://tfl.nu/qpoq
  Replies (70) Good night (1584) Bad night (4367)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper

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  (225): i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper http://tfl.nu/01yr
  Replies (16) Good night (3988) Bad night (1477)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant

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  (404): The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant http://tfl.nu/hmmb
  Replies (8) Good night (784) Bad night (3955)
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  (925): View more from California

  I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it

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  (925): I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it http://tfl.nu/75u1
  Replies (7) Good night (1140) Bad night (1541)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up

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  (404): You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up http://tfl.nu/mf69
  Replies (4) Good night (955) Bad night (1656)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...

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  (647): I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized... http://tfl.nu/nrq1
  Replies (13) Good night (1765) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle

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  (732): we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle http://tfl.nu/y8fm
  Replies (9) Good night (3473) Bad night (722)
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  (315): View more from New York

  How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?

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  (315): How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'? http://tfl.nu/37h8
  Replies (8) Good night (1589) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.

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  (425): We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party. http://tfl.nu/nzty
  Replies (5) Good night (1711) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic

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  (631): fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic http://tfl.nu/x558
  Replies (9) Good night (1785) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole

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  (201): New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole http://tfl.nu/gxas
  Replies (4) Good night (702) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.

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  (269): When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor. http://tfl.nu/zxit
  Replies (3) Good night (1104) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (830): View more from Texas

  Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.

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  (830): Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true. http://tfl.nu/sjks
  Replies (2) Good night (448) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!

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  (718): I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO! http://tfl.nu/huwu
  Replies (3) Good night (213) Bad night (146)

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