Texts From Last Night

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"

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  (918): My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?" http://tfl.nu/ksw8
  Replies (13) Good night (5164) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?

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  (210): she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate? http://tfl.nu/d0z4
  Replies (19) Good night (4679) Bad night (2331)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly

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  (443): I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly http://tfl.nu/9fzw
  Replies (11) Good night (5772) Bad night (1380)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.

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  (817): he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup. http://tfl.nu/cgag
  Replies (6) Good night (2672) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed

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  (631): I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed http://tfl.nu/2zh5
  Replies (9) Good night (2723) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.

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  (573): You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad. http://tfl.nu/q4da
  Replies (6) Good night (2439) Bad night (1412)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos

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  (516): I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos http://tfl.nu/9ruo
  Replies (9) Good night (2728) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha

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  (858): I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha http://tfl.nu/4cqn
  Replies (4) Good night (1746) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk

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  (239): We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk http://tfl.nu/ub56
  Replies (3) Good night (1939) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.

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  (606): only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding. http://tfl.nu/lmd6
  Replies (29) Good night (1927) Bad night (1808)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?

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  (+44): He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day? http://tfl.nu/3a44
  Replies (14) Good night (3529) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!

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  (859): I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms! http://tfl.nu/ase3
  Replies (4) Good night (1484) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.

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  (717): i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer. http://tfl.nu/4jv5
  Replies (11) Good night (1818) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.

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  (307): The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin. http://tfl.nu/jijz
  Replies (1) Good night (705) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.

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  (773): You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends. http://tfl.nu/9daq
  Replies (3) Good night (688) Bad night (491)

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