Texts From Last Night

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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...

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  (774): i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"... http://tfl.nu/2wkl
  Replies (487) Good night (176814) Bad night (7704)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.

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  (513): I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now. http://tfl.nu/qgov
  Replies (10) Good night (647) Bad night (4867)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.

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  (516): I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates. http://tfl.nu/jgwf
  Replies (89) Good night (5935) Bad night (1570)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.

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  (541): at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard. http://tfl.nu/6ebl
  Replies (19) Good night (7092) Bad night (712)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.

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  (609): She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good. http://tfl.nu/1igy
  Replies (113) Good night (1897) Bad night (11145)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'

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  (541): His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.' http://tfl.nu/mg36
  Replies (9) Good night (1109) Bad night (5489)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.

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  (512): Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box. http://tfl.nu/wxom
  Replies (7) Good night (3060) Bad night (943)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.

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  (330): Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor. http://tfl.nu/41un
  Replies (5) Good night (2213) Bad night (1063)
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  (661): View more from California

  I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.

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  (661): I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day. http://tfl.nu/ltd0
  Replies (5) Good night (2182) Bad night (954)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.

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  (314): I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property. http://tfl.nu/21gv
  Replies (3) Good night (1403) Bad night (660)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.

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  (937): She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend. http://tfl.nu/pjkv
  Replies (11) Good night (2350) Bad night (675)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.

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  (847): He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that. http://tfl.nu/228l
  Replies (3) Good night (643) Bad night (1142)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  This is why I married you.

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  (479): The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning. (479): Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight? (1-479): This is why I married you. http://tfl.nu/g5es
  Replies (4) Good night (2870) Bad night (622)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.

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  (303): My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief. http://tfl.nu/edfe
  Replies (3) Good night (1127) Bad night (493)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.

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  (702): Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women. http://tfl.nu/b3we
  Replies (3) Good night (581) Bad night (351)

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