Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
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Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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