He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
