I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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