I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Randomize
