Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
